Of her tally of smitten young men
"one less and three more
Divided by four
Together give one more than ten"
How many boyfriends had she?
These classifieds were really put in the paper - a smile for your day
FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER. 8 years old. Hateful little bastard. Bites!
FREE PUPPIES: 1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor's dog.
FREE PUPPIES.. Mother, AKC German Shepherd. Father, Super Dog...able
to leap tall fences in a single bound.
FOUND DIRTY WHITE DOG. Looks like a rat. Been out a while. Better be
a big reward.
COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED. Also 1 gay bull for sale.
NORDIC TRACK $300 Hardly used, call Chubby.
GEORGIA PEACHES California grown - 89 cents/lb.
JOINING NUDIST COLONY! Must sell washer and dryer $300.
WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE . Worn once by mistake. Call Stephanie.
And the best one:
FOR SALE BY OWNER: Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica, 45 volumes.
Excellent condition. $1,000 or best offer. No longer needed, Got married last month. Wife knows everything
ONE Recently, when I went to Mc Donald's I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets. 'We don't have half dozen nuggets,' said the teenager at the counter. 'You don't?' I replied. 'We only have six, nine, or twelve,' was the reply. 'So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?' 'That's right.' So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets
TWO I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those 'dividers' that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the 'divider', looking i t all over for the bar cod e so she could scan it. Not finding the bar code she said to me, 'Do you know how much this is?' I said to her 'I've changed my mind, I don't think I'll buy that today.' She said 'OK,' and I paid her for the things and left. She had no clue to what had just happened.
THREE A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM 'thingy.'
FOUR I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. 'Do you need some help?' I asked. She replied, 'I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?' 'Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm, too?' I asked. 'No, just this remote thingy,' she answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, 'Why don't you drive over there and check about the batterie s. It's a long walk.'
FIVE Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, 'I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?' 'Just use copier machine paper,' the secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five 'blank' copies.
Life is tough...
it's tougher if you're stupid.'...in fact I feel rather brilliant at the moment!!!
A blacksmith is shoeing a miser's horse.
The blacksmith charges ten dollars for his work.
The miser refuses to pay.
"Very well", says the blacksmith, "there are eight nails in each horse shoe.
The horse has four shoes. There are 32 nails in all.
I will ask you to pay one penny for the first nail, two pennies for the next nail, four pennies for the next nail, eight pennies for the next nail, sixteen pennies for the next, etc. until the 32nd nail".
Question: How much did the miser pay?
